In big cities, teenagers hanging out in coffee shops becomes a common feature and life-style of this generation.The venue has become a place of interaction and a place to meet friends without making prior appointment. Basically because of the availability of drinks and food, there is no time factor involved whether they are punctual or late, they will order and consume the drinks or food and wait at the same time for the crowd to gather in size. Some coffee shops or stores also provide big projector screen with live telecast of popular sport activities to attract fans and customers of the same interest.
When I was younger, we used to meet at those road side stores that provided home cooked traditional delicacies such as egg tea, water chestnut and lotus seed drinks etc. Sitting on those old rattan chairs was cozy, relaxing and really enjoying good chats with my friends, We however did not go out every night but just remained an activity only during weekends or school holidays. The reasons being we did not have enough money then to hang out every night and our parents were stricter and we know where our limits were!
Staying out late at night always has its share of dangers. The recent shooting incident that killed a teenage boy Aminulrasyid would serve as a warning for us all as parents to show our concern on hanging out late at night life-style of these youngsters. All those tired and exhausted guys after spending a late night are normally in a rush to return home to call it a day and therefore they speed, beat traffic lights and sometimes even drive under the influence of alcohol. Their returning home timing coincides with the time when all those adults who happen to hang out in the bars and pubs are also on their way home. The way or style of driving at late hours is simply getting ugly, aggressive and dangerous! One could read in the news that many fatal accidents did occur during the wee hours of the day when those victims were on the way home after a late and tiresome session with their friends.
As parents, we do not want to stop completely or prohibit our children to go out at night because we think they are going through a stage of adolescence which they need to interact with other people and friends. Before they start a family, that would be the time they could feel and enjoy the freedom the most and we do not wish to deprive them of that privilege. But we DO have a great concern on the way that they tend to go out too frequently and spend too little time at home with their own family members. Eating heavy at night, consuming high sugar content drinks and spending too much money on food could result in obesity, bad health and develop the undesirable and inconsiderate habit of wasting the parent hard earned money! We prefer them to go out perhaps not more than twice a week and be back home before 12 pm. With this as a general guideline, we do not think we are being unreasonable parents!
A rather difficult topic to discuss.. to us old folk twice a week and back home by 12 pm is reasonable for boys.. for girls probably 10 p.m. should be the limit as girls can be preyed upon by unscrupulous men.
ReplyDeleteTo the children.. reasonable may means something else
Encik Sharif,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with you. It is a wish that always remains a wish but nowadays "grown up" children are not for us to say! Probably we simply came from an older and different generation, too conservative and sometimes out of date!
I guess "hanging out" has it's equivalence in "bersidai" in my days. Now is "melepak". It was never a good thing in my time and we just didn't do it. I suppose growing up in hostel/residential school was a deterant factor. Time has changed. Supervision of kids have become wanting if not impossible when they are lavished with more material things such as the wheels they drive or ride and absent parenting.
ReplyDeleteThe time has changed that parents and teenagers both feel the peer pressure, whether we like it or not!
ReplyDeleteNow we have less children and we hope to give them our best but sometimes we tend to over pamper them.
Who could understand the love and good intention of we parents thinking that our parenthood is a once in a life time thing? The consequences are not what we intended to be!
Often, parents become over zealous in giving the best to their children. Need to understand what "the best" means. Where material is concern perhaps it is better for kids to earn it first. Sometimes parents take a short cut to get their kids out of their hair. That's when problem may set in.
ReplyDeleteSending our teenage sons and daughters to private colleges such as Sunway, Taylor, Metropolitan, Segi etc. is where the comparison started. We cannot afford to offer them the best material but even the basic, in comparison with their peers, to me is till too much a short cut vis-a-vis what those students get when enrolled them in local universities!
ReplyDelete"Adolescence can be a challenging time for young people and their families. Teenagers go backwards and forwards between wanting freedom and yet still needing the security of their family. Parents want their children to grow happy and become independent. Yet, parents fear for their safety as they watch them try their wings. Teenagers have to cope with their parents who often don’t let them do the things they so much want to do. Some people are also working in graveyard shift and going home late at night. So there's nothing wrong with staying out late at night as long as they are secured and protected.
ReplyDeleteI am a working mom and I usually go home late at night. I sometimes allow my teenage girl to go out with her friends, but I am sure that she will be ok because I registered her to the latest mobile phone application that will allow her to ask help immediately to me, to the people in her safety network and to the nearest 911.
I hope this could help. Their website is http://safekidzone.com/
Dianne,
ReplyDeleteThe "safekidzone" concept will definitely help. If similar call centers of this sort could be set up here in this country, I am sure many concerned parents could be drawn to it.
The way of bringing up in the oriental world might be a bit too conservative, sometimes parents tend to become overly concerned. I would say the Western world is relatively a safer place, at least there are not so many reckless drivers on the roads!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Dianne!